Life’s a…

Posted by on Jan 23, 2013 in Fiction, Humor | 29 comments

BITCH (noun) 1: the female of the dog or some other carnivorous mammals

2 a : a lewd or immoral woman

b : a malicious, spiteful, or overbearing woman —sometimes used as a generalized term of abuse

3: something that is extremely difficult, objectionable, or unpleasant

I knocked on the door of her office quietly. Although I could see her moving around in there, she didn’t answer.

Should I knock again? Am I annoying her?

Ugh. Why are things like this so difficult? I just need her to sign my Drop/Add form so that I can change my schedule for next semester and that’s part of her job, right?

I straighten up and knocked again, this time louder.

“That’s better, “she called. “Come in. You gotta put some balls behind your knock.”

I stepped into the room, unzipped my backpack and started asking her about changing my registration. She listened without blinking, then spat out, “I’m fine. Thank you for asking. How are you?”

Taken aback, I muttered, “Umm, uh, good. I think.”

“You think? Are you sure about that?”

Seriously, was she trying to make me nervous?

“Yes, thank you. I am fine today.”

“Good. Now, Alyssa, what prompts this visit today?”

What? I had just told her everything. I wanted to bang my head on the wall.

I stammered, “But-but, I just told you that I needed you to sign my Drop/Add form.”

“Oh, yes. You said something, but it was before a proper greeting, so I ignored it.”

Really? Really??

I tamped down the urge to scream and focused on a handmade needlepoint sign over her head. It read “Life’s a bitch and so am I.”

No shit, Sherlock.

I took a deep breath and tried to speak as calmly as I could. “I would like to drop the American Poets of the Twentieth Century course and take a different elective. I need your signature to do that.”

“You want to drop my course? Why?”

“I, uh… I…”

“Yes?”

OK. It’s time for some honesty.

“I don’t think I’m going to get a good grade in your class.”

She stared at me for a long moment, and then answered simply, “No.”

“No?”

“No. You need to take it.”

Bitch.

This post is in response to the prompt given over at Trifecta. The rules state that you must use the third definition of the word in a piece 33 to 333 words long. This is a writing contest, so check out the other entries, too.

29 Comments

  1. styler@optonline.net January 23, 2013

    lol. She sounds like me on a bad day with my kids.
    styler@optonline.net recently posted..Tale Tues: The Pup Who Almost Ate a BrainMy Profile

    Reply
    • IASoupMama January 23, 2013

      Haha! I *might* have had this conversation once or twice…

      Reply
  2. Vanita January 23, 2013

    don’t whack me, i kinda like her.
    Vanita recently posted..Shed Negativity From Your Life (And Your Blog)My Profile

    Reply
    • IASoupMama January 23, 2013

      I won’t whack you — she’s clearly got a few lessons to teach Alyssa, if Alyssa can figure it out and listen to her.

      Reply
  3. Christie January 23, 2013

    I actually like her. She expects a lot out of you. I like that she’s not coddling. She scares me but I like her.

    Reply
    • IASoupMama January 23, 2013

      I do, too. I think the student is a slacker with some talent and that the prof wants to put the work in to polish her up a bit.

      Reply
  4. Tessa January 23, 2013

    Great story and 2 uses of the word bitch LOL! She sure would scare me! :-)

    Reply
    • IASoupMama January 23, 2013

      Any time one is asked to use the word bitch, one should use as many meanings as possible.

      Reply
  5. Joetwo January 23, 2013

    You don’t get many educators like that anymore. They used to be rampant.

    Reply
    • IASoupMama January 23, 2013

      Yes, they did. She’s a throwback, for sure.

      Reply
  6. KymmInBarcelona January 23, 2013

    Small people in positions of power. Nice sketch.

    Reply
  7. deana January 23, 2013

    I had a chef like that in culinary school. Great writing!
    deana recently posted..Well, maybe notMy Profile

    Reply
    • IASoupMama January 23, 2013

      Thank you! I had a couple of profs like that, plus I work on a college campus, so it was fun to write this one!

      Reply
  8. barbara January 23, 2013

    need more like her, I’m thinking – demanding and receiving respect – insisting that students not take the easy way out, but TRY. :) Yes, I like her. :)
    barbara recently posted..The SoundlessMy Profile

    Reply
    • IASoupMama January 23, 2013

      I like her, too — more than I like Alyssa, honestly :)

      Reply
  9. Atreyee January 24, 2013

    A hard task master!Alyssa better pull up her socks-no getting around this one-possibly will do her personality a lot of good;-)I dislike dithering too-being indecisive or never sure of what one wants is frustrating to see,so ofc I like this authoritative lady Professor:-)
    Atreyee recently posted..The KissMy Profile

    Reply
    • IASoupMama January 24, 2013

      I do, too — can’t stand it when students are as wishy-washy as Alyssa. She needs someone to hold her to a higher standard.

      Reply
  10. christina January 24, 2013

    i get the feeling that Alyssa’s gonna actually end up liking the Bitch of a teacher. :)
    “Life’s a bitch and so am I” <-one of my favorite quotes. ;)
    christina recently posted..sure of it { – FICTION – }My Profile

    Reply
    • IASoupMama January 24, 2013

      Yeah, I think she’s going to learn lots of lessons from this one — and not just about literature.

      Reply
  11. Latitudes of a Day January 24, 2013

    This is great. Young woman meets mature woman. Gosh, I think I’m going to get my embroider floss out again. Thanks for the chuckle.
    Latitudes of a Day recently posted..UncouplingMy Profile

    Reply
    • IASoupMama January 24, 2013

      You’re welcome! It was a fun one to write :)

      Reply
  12. Draug419 January 24, 2013

    Although the kid was rude, so was she. I wanted to slap both of them lol

    Reply
  13. Wisper January 24, 2013

    Nice job. I love the contrast between the teacher’s direct, no nonsense approach and Alyssa’s more timid, unsure reactions.
    Wisper recently posted..A Walk in the WoodsMy Profile

    Reply
  14. Roxanne January 24, 2013

    I like the bitch. I bet Alyssa’s got a lot she can learn from her. She’ll challenge the girl.
    Roxanne recently posted..Airborne.My Profile

    Reply
    • IASoupMama January 26, 2013

      Yep — that course will be a life- changer for Alyssa.

      Reply

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